I was reading an article on Selby TVR which compares the roles of a car enthusiast, who treats his prized possessions with the utmost care and respect, to a stepparent who has a special and unique bond with their stepchildren. I enjoyed the article and could not help but apply its general principles to the responsibilities and rights (or lack thereof) of a stepparent in the context of Family Law.
Stepparents are often held in very high regard by their spouses’ children and are treated with great love and kindness. Stepparents often find themselves in a unique and special role as a parent and often times serve as a stabilizing force to aid in the development of children who may not be fully comfortable or secure in their family environment after the dissolution of their parents’ relationship.
In the eyes of the law, however, stepparents often times have no legal rights whatsoever when it comes to their spouse’s children. In many cases, stepparents do not share parental responsibility with their spouse’s children. Moreover, while parents are permitted to make certain choices for their children, such as where the child will attend school or what religion they will be raised within, these types of rights are not afforded to stepparents.
This lack of legal rights in no way detracts from the important and valued role of the stepparent. A loving and nurturing step-parent can have a profoundly positive impact on the life of their spouse’s child and help him or her grow into a mature and thoughtful adult.
The possibly lack of legal rights by a step parent are similar to a car owner who certainly takes pride in their vehicles yet has no other say in the maintenance and repair of the car apart from its chosen professionals/mechanics. In fact, most of us have little understanding of mechanics which makes us dependant on the experience and knowledge base of the pros in that area. The laws relating to the rights and responsibilities of parents and the role of stepparents in the life of a child is certainly the subject of a very useful and thought provoking book. Family law practitioners often spend a great deal of time educating clients and prospective clients about their rights regarding parenting time, parenting responsibility, child support, spousal support, property division, and divorce.
However, the role of the stepparents as a very important person in the life of a child is often overlooked. There is no doubt that at times the legal outflow of a Family Law matter will involve the role of a stepparent and whether or not that person should be treated as a parent. In some cases it is appropriate to ask the question does a step parent have legal rights.
It is important to know your roles whether you are dating or involved with someone who has children. It is important to strike a balance between doing your part as a loveable, responsible and supportive figure and then letting the role of parent remain to the biological parent. It is not your job to discipline or correct so much as to support and love. A delicate balance indeed.
For more information on family law and the rights of stepparents, you can visit Child Welfare Information Gateway.
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